About This Blog


Of all the literary devices in an author's toolbox, none can be as confusing to the uninformed as the "metaphor", which is a direct comparison, or "simile", a comparison using the words 'like', or 'as'. Often, when the reference is uncommon or vague, the reader is left thinking "huh?"

Daniel Ruth, a well-known Tampa Tribune columnist, has a habit of over-using these devices to such extent that many readers only begin to understand the full comedic content of his columns.

We here at DRMW believe that there hasn't been as much head-scratching since Dennis Miller co-hosted 'Monday Night Football.'

To correct this deficiency, we resolve to clarify any obscure references and allow Ruth's humor to shine forth in all its glory. We do the research, so you don't have to!

We hope there will be something here for everyone, from Emo-kids to aging acid-heads, from Ivy-league matriculated to government-school edjamicated, from casual readers to bathroom-stall scholars. For those of you who need to find errors in everything, we put a few mistakes in as well. Just have fun. Let the dissection begin!

Unfortunately, Mr. Ruth is no longer with the Tampa Tribune, therefore updates will no longer be written. This blog is preserved for demonstration purposes only.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Any Time Now, The Peeps' Gov Will Save Us

Original column by Daniel Ruth, The Tampa Tribune

What He Wrote: "... stinky a piece of political poo-poo-pa-doo ..."
Obscure Reference: A pun, 'boo boop-a-doo' was the catch phrase used by Betty Boop, an animated cartoon character appearing in the 'Talkartoon' and 'Betty Boop' series of films produced released by Paramount Pictures ('Betty Boop, with Bimbo and Koko'). With her overt sexual appeal, Betty was a hit with theater-goers, and despite having been toned down in the mid-1930s, she remains popular today.

What He Wrote: "... secret, backroom, in the heart of darkness ..."
Obscure Reference: 'Heart of Darkness' is a novel by Joseph Conrad published in 1902. The story details an incident when Marlow, an Englishman, took a foreign assignment as a ferry-boat captain, employed by a Belgian trading company, on the Congo River, in dark, mysterious Africa. Marlow is employed to transport ivory downriver; however, his more pressing assignment is to return the character Kurtz to civilization in a cover up. The most famous reading of Conrad’s Heart of Darkness is Francis Ford Coppola’s 1979 movie 'Apocalypse Now', which translates the context of the narrative from the Congo into Vietnam of the Sixties.

What He Wrote: "... approving the CSX brass pole ..."
Obscure Reference: A brass pole is a fixture in a burlesque house or strip club, which allows the dancer support while doing erotic or enticing moves. It involves dancing sensually, although more recently artistic pole dancing is used in cabaret/circus and stage performance in a non-erotic environment. Pole dancing is also regarded by many as a performing art.

What He Wrote: "... would be turned into a sort of subtropical version of 'Blade Runner', ..."
Obscure Reference: Blade Runner is a 1982 futuristic, cyperpunk film directed by Ridley Scott. The film depicts a dystopian Los Angeles in November 2019 in which genetically manufactured beings called replicants – visually indistinguishable from adult humans – are used for dangerous and degrading work in Earth's "off-world colonies". Despite the box office failure of the film, it has since become a cult classic.

What He Wrote: "... hatched up out of the sunshine during the Jeb Bush Junta years ..."
Obscure Reference: 'Out of the Sunshine' refers to purported violations of Florida's 'Government in the Sunshine' laws, or open meetings legislation, which mandates access to government meetings, not just to the records of them. Privacy or data protection laws are part of the legislation; the concepts are often closely tied together in political discourse. A junta is government by a committee of military leaders. It is usually the result of a 'coup d’état', the sudden, illegal overthrowing of a government.

What He Wrote: "... mere lousy, stinking $491 million air kiss ..."
Obscure Reference: The air kiss is a social gesture whose meaning is basically the same as that of many forms of kissing. The air kiss is a pretence of kissing: the lips are pursed as if kissing, but without actually touching the other person's body. Air kisses are often associated with glamor models and celebrities: a tongue-in-cheek explanation is that unlike regular kisses, air kisses don't disturb their makeup.

What He Wrote: "... version of Eliot Spitzer's love life."
Obscure Reference: Eliot Laurence Spitzer is an American lawyer and former politician of the Democrat Party. He served as Governor of New York from January 2007 until his resignation on March 17, 2008. According to published reports, investigators believe Spitzer paid up to $80,000 for prostitutes over a period of several years while he was Attorney General, and later as Governor.

What He Wrote: "... the sub rosa rail door prize ..."
Obscure Reference: The Latin phrase "sub rosa" means "under the rose" and is used in English to denote secrecy or confidentiality. In Christian symbology the phrase has a special place in confessions, as pictures of file-leaved roses were often carved on confessionals, indicating that the conversations will remain secret. In current times, the term is actually used by the Scottish Government for a specific type of "off the record" meetings.

What He Wrote: "... who normally get the vapors ..."
Obscure Reference: 'Vapours' is an archaic term for certain mental and/or physical states, such as hysteria, mania, clinical depression, bipolar disorder, fainting, mood swings or PMS, ascribed primarily to women and thought to be caused by internal emanations.

What He Wrote: "... might be living high on the hog ..."
Obscure Reference: 'Living (or eating) high on the hog' is an American expression dating to the 17th century and meaning impressive, superlative, or attractive. It refers to the choice meat portions of a butchered hog, high on the back in the tenderloin region where the meat is most tender (and expensive), as opposed to the inexpensive lower, tougher cuts, or organ meats.


What He Wrote: "... the out-of-the-sunshine footsie-wootsie ..."
Obscure Reference: 'Out of the Sunshine' refers to meetings held in violation of Florida's 'Government in the Sunshine' laws. "Playing footsie' is a practice in which people use their feet to play with each other's feet. This generally involves slipping their shoes off under a table and rubbing their bare feet and soles against one another or up their partner's leg. Footsies generally is used to flirt with sexual partners. "Playing footsies" can also mean that two people favor each other over others, such as in politics or other group activity in which people are not technically paired off. Doing so tends to give an unfair advantage to the two individuals over the rest of the group.

What He Wrote: "... treated as little more than lawn jockeys ..."
Obscure Reference: A lawn jockey, is a small statue of a negro man intended to be placed in yards. The lawn ornament, popular in certain parts of the United States in years past, was a cast replica, usually about half-scale, dressed in jockey's clothing and holding up one hand as though taking the reins of a horse. The hand sometimes carried a lantern or a metal ring. The jockeys often had exaggerated features, such as big eyes with the whites painted in, large red lips, large, flat nose and curly hair. These pieces were typically painted in gaudy colors for the uniform, with the flesh of the statue a gloss black. These statues are widely considered offensive and racially insensitive. Despite being controversial, lawn jockeys are still in demand.

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