Her 'Academic Freedom'? Not Free, Just Dumb

Original column by Daniel Ruth, The Tampa Tribune

What He Wrote "... state Sen. Ronda Storms, R-Tammy Faye Bakker Only Without The Sense Of Whimsy ..."
Obscure Reference: Tammy Faye Bakker was the former wife of televangelist and later convicted felon Jim Bakker, who co-hosted with him on The PTL Club from 1976 to 1987. Her over use of make-up, particularly mascara, gave her a clown-like appearance.

What He Wrote: "... the wizard in the sky mumbo jumbo argument for creationism."
Obscure Reference: Mumbo Jumbo, or mumbojumbo is an English phrase or expression that denotes a confusing or meaningless subject. One of the sources for the English usage is the Vachel Lindsay poem 'The Congo', which contains the phrase "Mumbo-Jumbo, God of the Congo". Even long after the liturgical reforms of Vatican II, the term continues to be used derisively of Roman Catholicism.

What He Wrote: "... denials that made Baghdad Bob look like Winston Churchill ..."
Obscure Reference: Mohammed Saeed is a former Iraqi diplomat and politician. He came to wide prominence around the world during the 2003 Invasion of Iraq, during which he was the Information Minister of Iraq. Al-Sahhaf is known for his daily press briefings in Baghdad during the 2003 Iraq War. His colorful appearances caused him to be nicknamed Baghdad Bob (in the style of previous propagandists with alliterative aliases such as" "Hanoi Hannah" and "Seoul City Sue") by commentators in the United States. The dispatches by al-Sahhaf described the utterly fictional world of Saddam Hussein and his inner circle. On the other hand, Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, was a British politician known chiefly for his leadership of Great Britain during World War II. He served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1940 to 1945 and again from 1951 to 1955. A noted eloquent statesman and orator, Churchill was also known a historical writer, and an artist.

What He Wrote: "... fundamentalist Christian madrassas ..."
Obscure Reference: Madrasah is the Arabic word for any type of school, secular or religious (of any religion).

What He Wrote: "... her silly ... fiddle-faddle would get the bum's rush ..."
Obscure Reference: Fiddle Faddle is candy-coated popcorn produced by the Lincoln Snacks Company, similar to Crackerjack or Poppycock. "Bum's Rush" is an example of 'Wobbly lingo', a collection of technical language, jargon, and historic slang used by the Industrial Workers of the World (Wobblies). For several decades, many hobos in the U.S. were members of, or were sympathetic to, the IWW. Because of this, some of the terms describe the life of a hobo such as "riding the rails", living in "jungles", dodging the "bulls". "Bum's rush" refers to an innkeeper abruptly shoving a person of destitution (bum) to the door.

What He Wrote: "... Storms, R-The Madame Defarge of Genesis, ..."
Obscure Reference: Madame Thérèse Defarge is a fictional character in the book A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. She is a tireless worker for the French Revolution, and embodies the chaos of the Revolution. As the revolution breaks into full force, Madame Defarge reveals her true viciousness. Defarge ultimately fails to see the evil in herself that her thirst for revenge has unleashed. Genesis is the name of the first chapter in the Jewish Torah and the Christian Old Testament, otherwise known as 'The First Book of Moses'.

What He Wrote: "... the senator's "Academic Fiefdom Act."
Obscure Reference: Florida state senator Ronda Storms co-sponsored a bill titled the "Academic Freedom Act. Under the political system of feudalism, a fiefdom often consisted of inheritable lands or revenue-producing property granted by a liege lord, generally to a vassal, in return for a form of allegiance, originally to give him the means to fulfill his military duties when called upon. However anything of value could be held in fief, such as an office, a right of exploitation such as hunting fishing, farming, or any other type of revenue, rather than the land it comes from.

What He Wrote: "... their own version of pseudo-hocus-pocus science ..."
Obscure Reference: Hocus Pocus is a generic term used by magicians, usually the magic words spoken when bringing about some sort of change. In British English, its most prevalent modern meaning is "contrived nonsense", as in, "It was all a load of hocus pocus". The origins of the term remain obscure. Some believe it originates from a parody of the Roman Catholic liturgy of the eucharist, which contains the phrase "Hoc est enim corpus meum". This explanation goes back to speculations by the Anglican prelate John Tillotson, who wrote in 1694: "In all probability those common juggling words of hocus pocus are nothing else but a corruption of hoc est corpus, by way of ridiculous imitation of the priests of the Church of Rome in their trick of Transubstantiation." 'Hocus Pocus' is also the name of a 1971 song by progressive rock band Focus.

What He Wrote: "... Storms got her sackcloth and ashes in a wad ..."
Obscure Reference: Sackcloth, or Burlap, is a coarse woven fabric usually made from jute or hemp and used primarily to make sacks to ship cargo or produce. Its coarse texture makes it unsuitable for use in modern apparel. This roughness gave it a use in a religious context, for self-mortification, where individuals may wear an abrasive shirt called a cilice. In the first centuries of the Christian Church, groups of penitents were established by the Church for those Christians who fell into grave sin and sought reconciliation with the Church. Public penance consisted of acts of mortification such as wearing a cilice, covering the head with ashes, fasting and prayers.

What He Wrote: "... it might be a really crackerjack idea ..."
Obscure Reference: Cracker Jack is a US brand of snack consisting of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts. Legend has it that an early taster commented "That's Cracker, Jack!" hence the name. "Crackajack", a variation on the word, and denoting something exceptionally good (as in the old saying, "Crackerjack baseball player") was used for a brand of comic books featuring characters such as Red Ryder.

What He Wrote: "... Stay tuned for "The Earth is round? What's up with that?"
Obscure Reference: The idea of a flat Earth is that the surface of the Earth is flat (a plane), rather than the view that it is a very close approximation of the surface of a sphere. The belief was strongly held up until the 4th and 5th centuries, when scholars started discussing the circumference of the earth. The modern belief that especially medieval Christianity believed in a flat earth has been referred to as The Myth of the Flat Earth. Several scholars have argued that with extraordinary few exceptions no educated person in the history of Western Civilization from the third century B.C. onward believed that the earth was flat and that the prevailing view was of a spherical earth.

What He Wrote: "... crazy teachers to teach their own parallel universe reality ..."
Obscure Reference: The many-worlds interpretation or MWI (also known as relative state formulation, theory of the universal wavefunction, or parallel universes), is an interpretation of quantum mechanics. MWI denies the objective reality of wavefunction collapse. MWI then explains the subjective appearance of wavefunction collapse with the mechanism of quantum decoherence. Consequently, MWI claims this resolves all the "paradoxes" of quantum theory since every possible outcome to every event defines or exists in its own "history" or "world". In layman's terms, this means that there are an infinite number of universes and that everything that could possibly happen in our universe (but doesn't) does happen in another.