About This Blog


Of all the literary devices in an author's toolbox, none can be as confusing to the uninformed as the "metaphor", which is a direct comparison, or "simile", a comparison using the words 'like', or 'as'. Often, when the reference is uncommon or vague, the reader is left thinking "huh?"

Daniel Ruth, a well-known Tampa Tribune columnist, has a habit of over-using these devices to such extent that many readers only begin to understand the full comedic content of his columns.

We here at DRMW believe that there hasn't been as much head-scratching since Dennis Miller co-hosted 'Monday Night Football.'

To correct this deficiency, we resolve to clarify any obscure references and allow Ruth's humor to shine forth in all its glory. We do the research, so you don't have to!

We hope there will be something here for everyone, from Emo-kids to aging acid-heads, from Ivy-league matriculated to government-school edjamicated, from casual readers to bathroom-stall scholars. For those of you who need to find errors in everything, we put a few mistakes in as well. Just have fun. Let the dissection begin!

Unfortunately, Mr. Ruth is no longer with the Tampa Tribune, therefore updates will no longer be written. This blog is preserved for demonstration purposes only.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!

Original column by Daniel Ruth, The Tampa Tribune

What He Wrote: "...oozing radio boil Bubba the Love Grunge..."
Obscure Reference: A passing swipe at 'Bubba the Love Sponge Clem', syndicated radio personality on the Cox Radio Network stations.

What He Wrote: "... would have even Lady Justice doing the Hokey Pokey."
Obscure Reference: The Hokey Pokey is a participation dance with a distinctive accompanying tune and lyric structure. It is well known in English-speaking countries. Lady Justice (Justitia, the Roman Goddess of Justice) is an allegorical personification of the moral force that underlies the legal system. Since the Renaissance, Justitia is frequently depicted as a bare-breasted woman carrying a sword and scales, and sometimes wearing a blindfold.

What He Wrote: "... brought about by Mark Lunsford and his mouthpiece Rick Block ..."
Obscure Reference: A mouthpiece is the part of a wind instrument that the musician blows into. In American slang, a "mouthpice" is often used to refer to one's spokesperson, or more frequently, their attorney.

What He Wrote: "... Jabba the Smut had been using his daily gathering of beagles ..."
Obscure Reference: Another swipe at DJ Clem, this time comparing him to 'Jabba The Hutt', a fictitional blob-like character in George Lucas' Star Wars films.

What He Wrote: "... when it comes to class, Bubba the Love Thug makes Sasquatch look like Cary Grant."
Obscure Reference: Cary Grant, was an English-born actor known for mostly American films. With his distinctive Mid-Atlantic accent, he was noted as perhaps the foremost exemplar of the debonair leading man, handsome, virile, charismatic and charming. Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot, is a figure in North American folklore alleged to inhabit remote forests, mainly in the Pacific northwest region of the U.S. and Canada. He is sometimes described as a large, clumsy, hairy bipedal ape-like creature.

What He Wrote: "... a low-rent bumpkin ..."
Obscure Reference: In America, bumpkin is a derogatory term to refer to the stereotype of poor, un-sophisticated country people; in the rural South, synonymous with 'yokel', or 'hick'.

What He Wrote: "... a more foreign concept to grasp than if Ronda Storms tried to comprehend an issue of Vogue."
Obscure Reference: Vogue publishes a magazine based entirely on Fashion, Life and Design. Vogue is so named because it is said to be as a noun, suggesting transient impermanent fashionability i.e. 'in vogue'. Ronda R. Storms is a Republican Florida State Senator, representing the 10th District. She is recognized by her quick tongue and often scathing sarcastic remarks, many of which she does not retract.

What He Wrote: "... like Madonna accusing Mother Teresa of being a tart."
Obscure Reference: A tart is a promiscuous woman or a woman who dresses in a sexually provocative way, or a prostitute. Mother Teresa was an Albanian Roman Catholic nun who founded the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, India in 1950. For over forty years she ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying. Following her death kin 1997 she was beatified by Pope John Paul II and given the title Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. Madonna is an Italian contraction of the phrase 'ma donna' (my lady), referring to the Blessed mother of Jesus Christ. Ironically, it is also the stage name used by American singer and actress Louise Ciccone Ritchie who is known for use of sexual, social and religious themes in her work and has been dubbed the "Material Girl".

What He Wrote: "... radio's answer to ricin ..."
Obscure Reference: Ricin is a protein poison that is extracted from the castor bean. The lethal dosage is about 500 micrograms (about the size of a grain of salt) in humans if inhaled or injected, very small indeed. The poison has been known for use in assasinations and terrorist attacks.

What He Wrote: "... he was more clueless than Sgt. Schultz ..."
Obscure Reference: Feldwebel (Sergeant) Schultz was a character in both the feature film 'Stalag 17' and the TV series 'Hogan's Heros.' Schultz is the bumbling, highly unmilitary sergeant of the guard. He is a basically good-hearted man who, when confronted by the shenanigans of the prisoners, will simply look away, repeating simply “I see nothing, nothing!” in order to avoid becoming involved in any way.

What He Wrote: "... Stubba the Yutz may be slower than a sack of snipes ..."
Obscure Reference: Another stab at Clem, 'yutz' being Yiddish slang used by English-speaking Jews to mean a foolish or incompetent person. Snipe is any of nearly 20 very similar wading bird species. They are characterised by a very long slender bill and cryptic plumage. In the days of market hunting, the most skilled hunters of all would often bring many snipe to market earning the nickname "sniper" as a badge of respect for the difficulty in shooting this amazing little bird.

What He Wrote: "... spent more time around lawyers than John Gotti."
Obscure Reference: John Gotti, also nicknamed by the media as "The Dapper Don" and "The Teflon Don", was the boss of the Gambino crime family, one of the 'Five Families' of New York City. In 1992, Gotti was convicted of racketeering, 13 murders, obstruction of justice, hijacking, conspiracy to commit murder, illegal gambling, extortion, tax evasion and loansharking.

What He Wrote: "... rolled over like a Pomeranian that had just soiled the carpet."
Obscure Reference: A Pomeranian is one who hails from Pomerania, or the region located on the south coast of the Baltic Sea, divided between Germany in the west and Poland in the east. It may also refer to a small 'toy' breed of dog of the Spitz family, named for the same region. Dogs frequently roll over to show submissiveness to their master, exposing their vulnerable underbellies.

What He Wrote: "... promised to only blow air kisses ..."
Obscure Reference: The air kiss is a social gesture whose meaning is basically the same as that of many forms of kissing. The air kiss is a pretence of kissing: the lips are pursed as if kissing, but without actually touching the other person's body. Air kisses are often associated with glamor models and celebrities: a tongue-in-cheek explanation is that unlike regular kisses, air kisses don't disturb their makeup.

What He Wrote: "... this walking "Deliverance" theme ..."
Obscure Reference: Deliverance is a 1972 Warner Bros. motion picture drama, based on a 1970 novel of the same name. The film is noted for the memorable music scene near the beginning that sets the tone for what lies ahead: a trip into unknown and potentially dangerous territory. In the scene, set at a rural gas station, one of the main characters plays the instrumental "Dueling Banjos" on his guitar accompanied by a mentally-challenged hillbilly in-bred albino youth playing banjo.

What He Wrote: "... would be akin to Gen. Sherman assuming the role of spokesman for the residents of Atlanta."
Obscure Reference: William Tecumseh Sherman was a general in the Union Army during the American Civil War, for which he received criticism for the harshness of the "scorched earth" policies that he implemented in conducting total war against the Confederate States, starting with the razing of Atlanta and continuing in his "march to the sea."

What He Wrote: "... having Jeff Foxworthy's entire act self-appointing himself as their spokesman..."
Obscure Reference: Jeffrey M. Foxworthy is an American comedian, actor and game show host who is known for his work as a stand-up comedian. He is known for his "You Just Might Be a Redneck" jokes, and currently is the game show host of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

What He Wrote: "... that was Lady Justice doing the Macarena."
Obscure Reference: The Macarena is a song by Sevilla natives Los del Río and the seductive dance invented for it.

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