Who's Side is Howard Dean On, Anyway?

Original column by Daniel Ruth, The Tampa Tribune

What he Wrote: "... the ham-handed galoots running the Democratic Party..."
Obscure Reference: 'Galoot' is an old word used in Scotland that means a person with an ungainly, cumbersome, and clumsy personality.

What he Wrote: "... make "The Honeymooners" Raccoon Lodge seem like a Marine Corps precision drill team."
Obscure Reference: The Raccoon Lodge was a social lodge which Ralph and Norton were members of. Such story lines were typical: Ralph gets elected treasurer of the Raccoon Lodge, and promptly loses $200 of their money. He and Norton head to the race track and invent a scheme to try and win it all back..

What he Wrote: "...who couldn't find their keister with the help of Sacagawea, Magellan and Charles Lindbergh ..."
Obscure References: Sacagawea was a Shoshone indian guide who accompanied Lewis & Clark on their expedition of the Pacific Northwest. Ferdinand Magellan was a Portuguese explorer who led the first sailing expedition around the world. Lindbergh was the first solo pilot to fly from New York to Paris nonstop. Keister is slang for buttocks,the rounded portions of the anatomy located on the posterior of the pelvic region.

What he Wrote: "...Florida Democratic major-domos announced ..."
Obscure Reference: A majordomo is the highest person of a household staff, one who acts on behalf of the (often absent) owner of a typically large residence. Majordomos were common in Europe until the feudal decreased in importance and the landed aristocracy no longer had the means to employ them.

What he Wrote: "... as opposed to Republicans, Democratic events involve cash bars ..."
Obscure Reference: Cash Bars are a form of dispensing adult (alcoholic) beverages at social events, where the receipient pays cash to the bartender for each beverage purchase (as opposed to "open bar", where the beverages are free).

What he Wrote: "...they are but mere bagatelles of bungling ..."
Obscure Reference: Bagatelle (from the Château de Bagatelle) is an indoor table game related to billiards, the object of which is to get a number of balls (set at nine in the nineteenth century) past pins (which act as obstacles) into holes.

What he Wrote: "...grandmasters of Nathan Thurmesque arrogance ..."
Obscure Reference: Nathan Thurm was a character created by comedian Martin Short. A shady lawyer, Thurm was a chain-smoker, quite paranoid, and constantly in denial about his paranoia. He would often deny an accusation, then immediately reverse his position when the accuser reaffirmed the statement.

What he Wrote: "...the Dogpatch Estates condo association."
Obscure Reference: Dogpatch is the fictional setting of most of Al Capp's Li'l Abner comic strip. The inhabitants of Dogpatch were mostly lazy hillbillies, who wanted nothing to do with progress, were extremely patriotic and devastatingly poor.

What he Wrote: "... Dean's Winnie the Pooh whining ..."
Obscure Reference: Winnie-the-Pooh, is a fictional bear character created by A. A. Milne and named after a teddy bear owned by his son, Christopher Robin. In December 2000, a Canadian medical journal jokingly "diagnosed" characters in the books and films with various mental illnesses, e.g. Winnie the Pooh shows signs of obsessive compulsive disorder.

What he Wrote: "... Dean and his Potomac politburo ..."
Obscure Reference: The Potomac is a river that runs between Washhington D.C. and Arlington, Va. Politburo is short for Political Bureau. The term originates from the Russian Politicheskoye Buro, which contracts to Politburo. It is the executive organization for a number of political parties, most notably for Communist Parties.

What he Wrote: "... like camp counselors overseeing an origami contest."
Obscure Reference: Origami is the ancient Japanese art of paper folding. The goal of this art is to create a given result using geometric folds and crease patterns without the use of gluing or cutting the paper medium.

What he Wrote: "This will stun the Howard Sprague of The Beltway..."
Obscure Reference: Howard Sprague is a fictional character on the CBS television sitcom The Andy Griffith Show and its spin-off Mayberry R.F.D. He was characterized by his moustache, bow tie, and a penchant for philosophy and culture. Howard was a repressed Mother's boy who lived with his overbearing and manipulative mother. The 'Capital Beltway' is a nickname for the Interstate highway (I-495) that circles Washington, D.C.

What he Wrote: "... that is why the drinks are on the house..."
Obscure Reference: A common American saying which means the host of the party is purchasing the adult beverages. (See "cash bar", above).

What he Wrote: "...the petulant Joan Crawford of the Electoral College..."
Obscure Reference: Joan Crawford was an Academy Award-winning American actress, known for her petulance, or sudden, impatient irritation over some trifling annoyance. The United States Electoral College is a term used to describe the 538 Presidential electors who meet every four years to cast the official votes for President and Vice President. Each state legislature has the power to determine how exactly the electors are to be chosen.